Yes. Today I rant. We all need a good rant every so often.
The world is SO loud. I just spent two full days in the confines of my flu infested bed. I slept probably a good 25 hours. I was feverish, bitchy, restless and exhausted. Good times. BUT it was quiet. Quiet seems to come rarely if its not diligently sought out and aqquired. Add on the fact that I have a toddler and times that by a million. My alarm clock this morning was Landon screaming in my face while copping a pathetic two year old attitude, that thing they do when they roll their eyes in the back of their head and ignore you..yeah its fun. You hear yourself saying aloud, kid, I invented attitude, try me!! and then you realize your arguing with a child who doesn't even come up to your hip, and you feel like an ass. Just saying. So this is how I woke up this morning, which isn't unlike any other morning, except today I just couldn't handle it. Everything from my cell phone, to the movie playing on the laptop was SO loud. Logging into my facebook didn't help either, a barrage of opinions, faces and ego...yes I am a part of it. A culprit as much as anyone else, but I have my days where I could just delete it all. Just turning the t.v on lately I feel like a chump. The marketing and consumerism just irk me to no end lately. Its days like this I dream of a small country house in the middle of nowhere. A place I can plant things, cook things and just honestly..shut the eff up. So as I'm sitting here, dreaming of this house I cant afford, I realize that if I want quiet. I have to find it. I have to create it, and its not easy in this society. This is no news to me, but as a Christ Follower, with these new eyes, its a new lesson....a pretty big one actually. Our society doesn't offer much in the way of peace. Inner or outer. To find this quiet spot, you have to literally unplug yourself. You have to say to yourself, I'm gonna put it all down, the expectations, the pressure, the rat race. I'm going to make the choice not to react to all this noise, and honestly just turn it off. Inside and outside. I mean Ive never been a huge fan of societies rules, the way it stacks us up against one another, the competition, the comparison. Everything propelled forward by money and selfish desires. So for me, finding this quiet time, means letting go of that facade. Because to me, its just that, false. Bying into that falsehood, only makes me feel overwhelmed and little. Makes me feel I'm pretending I have a choice, cause didn't the big machine make it for me already? and yes i realize, that without the big machine this blog wouldn't get to you, so there!! ill take the meat and leave the potatoes...
Anyways, what I'm getting at is this...its really hard to hear the voice of God when your plugged into so much noise...when your kids screaming, your phone is ringing, your boss is blabbing, your t.v's yelling at you to buy a new couch, and your msn is beeping you of the hook...so TURN IT ALL OFF. Just cause society has all this to offer, doesn't change it from being an option, to a 'have to'. Its still just an option. I think we forget that sometimes, I know I do. Its funny too cause people can even take it personally, like you changing your views and reactions, holds them accountable or something. People get so shaken when you decide to do things differently. Makes me laugh. So maybe I got a lil of track, maybe I didn't. Maybe this makes total sense to you, and if it does, do one thing for me? take 30 mins today to turn off all your beeping trinkets. Go one day without the stupid t.v on, make these things an option for a little while. I know for myself, once all the racket is gone, and I'm sitting alone in silence, it frees up the space to hear His voice. And I know this sounds funny, but usually, He says...Finally...
One of the biggest lessons Ive learned on this path...is the value of quiet. Society is always pressuring you to be loud..to be busy..and God wants you to be quiet and give yourself a shot here...to honour yourself enough to offer yourself the peace you deserve. To shut down your overactive brain(ladies:)) and give it a chance to process the stillness...you'll be surprised what you'll find underneath all that noise....
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